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13 Things You Must Know About Apogaea

photo by Dirty Santa
photo by Dirty Santa

Now that we are all breathing a collective sigh of relief, it’s time to get schooled! Besides studying for an ‘A’ on your Survival Guide quiz at the gate, we want you to be aware of these 13 super necessary items. It’s all to keep you in the loop so you have a safe, fun and MOIST Apogaea. All attendees will find tasty nuggets of information within. In today’s lesson we will cover:

  1. Event status
  2. Insurance and Permit
  3. Traffic Plan and Road Security
  4. Flying tents and gas lines
  5. Fire!
  6. Mini Burners (Your Offspring)
  7. The Gate Test
  8. Show Me the Money!
  9. The Sound Policy (Including Quiet Hours)
  10. Department of Mutant Vehicles
  11. Airplane Mode (Your Phone Won’t Work)
  12. The Beautiful Danger of Wildlife
  13. Your Awesome Status

1. Event Status

We are on track for a successful event! Get your butts ready to be Moist! There are still a few things that need to be done, but we feel that any remaining issues are unlikely to sink us. Quench your salivating curiosity by reading all of the things below!

2. Insurance and Permit

The board is 95% of the way to having our insurance policy. That is the last piece needed to file for the permit. The evacuation plan and site map, which were also required, are finished as well. As such, the permit is 95% of the way to completion as well. We will be submitting the permit application shortly. The turnaround time on the permit is expected to be very short, and the board does not expect there will be any issue procuring the permit prior to the event. Hoorah!

3. Traffic Plan and Road Security

Please always follow the direction of our hungry Parking Badgers! They have finalized the traffic plan (i.e. ingress and egress routes, pulsing plans and staffing) and our parking lead is confident we can execute entry and exodus smoothly. There has been some concern that a local LOA (landowners’ association) that maintains one of our entry roads may not want event traffic on their road. Our esteemed President Sharon has been in conversation with LOA members, who have warmed up to us and she has a call slated with the president of that organization in the coming days, just to make double sure we’re meeting all of their needs. Most likely they just want to have a piece of the magic and we want to make sure we don’t put them out!

4. Flying Tents & Gas Lines

Bring extra long stakes! The soil at this land is relatively loose, so use long stakes, long lag bolts or rebar to secure your camp infrastructure. Tents blowing away has happened before and as funny as it is, they are sometimes hard to chase down! There was a question about underground gas pipes on the land. During Monday’s land visit, we were able to determine that the gas pipes are buried 4 feet underground and marked about every 50 feet, so we know where they run. They run parallel to the road and are not present in areas where we will be camping, so the length of tent stakes are not of concern.

5. Fire!

The fire policy is available on the burn ban status page and will remain updated at all times, but we would like to emphasize that: propane stoves for cooking and commerical propane heaters will be allowed, as long as they are monitored by a responsible person at all times. Propane burn barrels, fire performances and the lighting of propane art pieces is not yet approved and may not be. Fire spinning, if allowed, will only be permitted in one designated area that will be cleared. This decision will come closer to the event (most likely one week before the event). Fire spinning: if allowed; will ONLY be allowed in one designated area. As we have said all along, NO ember-producing fires will be allowed at this event.

Any violation of the fire rules will be grounds for IMMEDIATE EVICTION, NO QUESTIONS ASKED. Smokers: you are responsible for disposing your ashes and embers. Bring a fireproof container to prevent MOOP (Matter out of Place, duh). This is for everyone’s safety and we truly appreciate your cooperation to keep the ecosystem safe.

6. Mini Burners (Your Offspring)

Due to the many hazardous conditions of the land, it is mandatory to use extreme caution and close supervision for parents who plan to bring their children. Our eviction policy (see the Survival Guide) includes a section about unattended children and that policy will be enforced. Please read it. Keep your kids and the rest of Apogaea’s participants safe. Who is responsible for the safety of your children? YOU! Everything is a lot more fun when nobody has to track down a missing child!

7. The Gate Test

Study up, collegiates! This year, in addition to the usual protocols that have always been in place and can be found in the Survival Guide, the board is implementing a verbal agreement. We will be asking every participant to verbally acknowledge that they understand the instructions that they have been given. If your department has items you would like to be included in that agreement, please send them to [email protected] as soon as possible. The Survival Guide is REQUIRED READING. There will be a quiz at the gate. “For super cereal.”

Finally, we are requiring all participants to bring a first aid kit. Our medical team is not here to put a Band Aid on your finger or give you ointment for your chapped tush. One first aid kit per vehicle is sufficient and gate may ask to see it as part of the entry procedure. Who is responsible for your safety? YOU!

8. Show Me the Money!

We are in good financial shape. Our insurance claim for last year’s event cancellation was settled to the tune of $100,000. So we are approving a retroactive budget covering some items that we had to cut in our original 2016 expenditures. We also expect our revenue from this year to cover the cost of next year’s event and then some. Yay! This is a big weight off the pressure on next year’s budget!

9. The Sound Policy

Show us your bass face. Sound camps must be registered and must sign the sound camp agreement. They also must attend the Sound Camp Town Hall at 7 p.m. Sunday, May 22. If you do not attend, you will not be placed. Placement will be announced at the meeting. It will be held at Narnia, 947 Federal Blvd. Denver CO 80204. (Please do not park on the side of the building.) No rogue or last minute sound camps are allowed at the event. Sound levels are to be limited at the direction and discretion of Apogaea, in order to respect our participants and neighbors. Generators must be quiet (under 60 dB) or have a baffle to mitigate sound pollution down to 60 dB.

Quiet hours are from 4 a.m. to 10 a.m. and will be strictly enforced. This includes megaphones, art cars or any other source of amplified sound. During these hours, sound within your camp must not permeate beyond the perimeter of your camp. All sound camps will be required to have a representative work one sound enforcement shift. Medium and loud sound camps are required to bring a working microphone to assist with announcements in the event of an emergency. If you have any questions or are unaware of the size designation of your camp, please check out the Sound Policy page or email [email protected]. Let’s rock it and rock it right!

10. Department of Mutant Vehicles

  • All Mutant Vehicle policies are subject to change at any time at the discretion of Apogaea (think rain event, emergency, etc.).
  • Mutant vehicles will fall into two categories, large and small. Small vehicles will be based on golf carts/ATVs/quads, etc., and large vehicles will be based on cars/trucks etc., and will be subject to additional safety requirements.
  • All mutant vehicles will be required to preregister and list all drivers and contact data (camp, how to contact, etc.)
  • All mutant vehicles must remain stationary during daylight hours, and will only be permitted to move at night, while fully illuminated.
  • Large vehicles will require a walking spotter at all times, and the spotter and driver will be required to have radio contact.
  • No mutant vehicles will be permitted to have flame effects.
  • All mutant vehicles operators must be sober.
  • All mutant vehicles must remain parked and immobile in the Mutant Gallery when not authorized to move.
  • Failure to abide by the rules of operation will result in an immediate loss of driving privileges. In this case, keys will be surrendered to an event lead and may be reclaimed Sunday at 10 a.m.
  • Vroooom!

11. Airplane Mode (Your Phone Won’t Work)

It is highly likely that there will not be any cellular coverage at the event. Contact to people within the event or outside of it will be restricted to other means. This is especially important for parents to keep in mind. We recommend Walkie-Talkies for anyone who wishes to communicate cross-site. Plus, it’s really fun to say, “breaker breaker one nine!” Who is responsible for your ability to contact your loved ones? YOU!

12. The Beautiful Danger of Wildlife

Snakes may be present. If you see a snake, please freeze and slowly back away. Find a Ranger or other safety lead and report it. They most often sun themselves on large rocks, which are clearly marked. Avoid these areas, especially during the sunniest part of the day.

There are also Elk calving areas very near our event site. Elk can be territorial. If you see an elk, even if it is cute, please do not approach it. Stay away from it and report its presence to a Ranger or other safety services personnel.

13. Your Awesome Status

Don’t forget, even though there are a few more “rules” this year, the reason we make this journey is because we are awesome. And being awesome will always be allowed.

Phew! That’s about it (haha!) It’s time to start preparing in earnest. Start decorating your bike, buying all your sexy outfits, checking your air mattress for leaks, etc. In short, do ALL THE THINGS!